Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Secret Life of Leif Garrett



Secret dog fights. Illegal Skateboarding Rings. Prostitution. Why Dick Tracy had to stop him. 

 When it comes to busting criminals, Detective Dick Tracy is no rookie. When Sgt. Bilko of the L.A. police department rang him up last January to take on the case of long-time fugitive Leif Garrett, he knew it was finally his chance to put him behind bars- where he belongs.

Tracy's long time feud with Garrett first began more than 30 years ago, on a street corner in Southern California. Leif, then a mere boy, was suspected of running an illegal skateboarding ring in the beautiful San Fernando Valley.
"I knew I had to bust that punk," Tracy recollects. However, it would be another 15 years before he could gather enough evidence to connect Garrett with the crime. Fortunately he was able to make not one, but two busts with one blow.

"That kid, he was up to no good. Running secret dog fights, an illegal skateboarding ring, selling girls for money. Somebody had to stop him."

However, Leif's altercation with the law became an ongoing chase for the next two decades.
"We had him once. Put the smuggler behind bars. Somehow, he  managed to escape. Nobody even knew he had broken out until we saw him on VH1 years later. He was hosting 8-track Flashback. We knew then that he was more clever than we thought."

Leif led Detective Tracy on a wild goose chase over the course of years, skipping from one city to another- sometimes even leaving the state. Tracy was never far behind, always hot on his trail. He finally cornered him in a subway station in 2009 and arrested him on the charges that he was "too indecent for society."

"Guys like that, they don't never change. Hard core criminals belong behind bars- and as God as my witness I intend to keep him there until my dying day."

***Update: It has been brought to Chaperone Party's attention that Leif Garrett has, in fact, somehow managed to slip through the criminal justice system once again. If you have any information regarding his whereabouts, contact:

D. Tracy
1931 Gould Drive.
Moon Valley, MN 00001
MOON 

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